I'm neither academically or athletically inclined.
I'm just plain emotion. Maybe that's why I like stuff like art and music. They can be used to portray emotions pretty well.
And I usually either feel sad or angry. Mostly sad now. That's probably why I like to play slow, soulful and sad songs on the piano. And if I were to paint a picture I would probably use dark blue and white.
And if I'm angry, I just shout my damn head off.
I'm not exactly deep. I don't really hide anything from anyone. And whenever I say sorry to someone, I'm usually truly sorry.
This is why I totally suck at school. Even in music and art. I mean, how can I possibly show my feelings when we learn about composers in music? Or if all we do in art is make stylized shadings of SPORTS?
That is one of the many reasons why school sucks.
I ought to pick up some outside-school art class. The ones that actually MEAN art.
That's why I'm just emotion.
logged in at 9:37 PM
Priceless
This clip is just too fucking hilarious to not share.
Enjoy.
logged in at 4:15 PM
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Night
I love the night. It's so...peaceful. Especially for a guy like me, listening to LP and having to tolerate SIX human loudspeakers everyday.
So at night, it's just plain quiet. Except for the constant MSN sound thingy. Why would I want to waste such precious quiet time SLEEPING. Now THAT is stupid, if you ask me.
And maybe some of the bad things that happened are good, like me misplacing an MP3 player or my XBox wire being pulled off by Human Loudspeaker No.6. I COULD use the lack of distratcion for a while.
Back to nighttime. The night and me have a lot of things in common. One, the night is dark and so am I. Another, it is lonely (I don't see too many people staying up and keeping it company) and lastly, the night is calm and so am I, at heart.
I want to be a nocturnal guy.
And thanks, Justin, for accompanying me on my quest to turn nocturnal.
Now...what to do...
logged in at 11:27 PM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Songs
Songs really can describe me sometimes. Here are some examples.
Everything you say to me Takes me one step closer to the edge And I'm about to break! Linkin Park - One Step Closer
I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn't even matter Linkin Park - In The End
And I'd Give it all away Just to have somewhere to go to Give it all away To have someone to come home to Linkin Park - My December
And I... Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed I... Take back all the things I've said to make you feel like that Linkin Park - My December
Maybe this is why I like Linkin Park so much. It describes me a lot. Those lyrics up there were just examples of many songs that can be used to describe me.
Till then, See ya
logged in at 6:38 PM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Today
Went to school. Just in time to put bags in class and go down to sing THAT SONG. After inging THAT SONG, next semester's class commitee and 'the PRIVELAGED one' got briefed on the Leadership Training shit. And guess what, I was the PRIVELAGED one.
Went back to class just in time to slack for a while before Maths started. Shit, maths. Got to touch up the SAIL task project. But since Clayton did the work, I did my part by placing the papers inside the file. Hey, at least I helped.
Recess, one of my most favourite periods. Had the uber-tasty Maggi at the second stall. Loved it. Bought another. Loved it again, but didn't finish it. Then drank some Iced [Something, I forgot] TEA. TEA, meaning that I would be thirsty.
Went back to class for Geog. It was the best Geog lesson I've ever had. One, we got to slack. Two, we got to play some psychological humour games. And it turned out that the Singapore Cowboy was my lucky star. OH MY GOD!!! And it also turned out that I care most about Leonardo Da Vinci, I like KAI WEI but it couldn't work out between us. EEW!!! Also, the Big Bad Wolf is my friend and my relationship with him is like fire. Haha. Real crappy.
Then came the oh-so-boring Chemistry. Checked some worksheet and went to Science Lab to do stuff with acids. Eheheh...Acids... I found out that Hydrochloric Acid and Magnesium put near a fire can make a 'POP' sound. Haha. Scared Wen Xin a bit with the acids.
Then English. Just had to read Reader's Digest. Then we left early to 'Suit Up'. Also known as putting on our No.4. But the term 'Suit Up' sounds nicer. Then I drank SOME MORE tea. I am addicted to tea.
We left at around two, for some place to have our classification. I got 7. Failed, as expected. We filmed some crap here and there, such as Justin walking and falling like an idiot, me being Buzz Lightyear whose dreams was shattered. And Joel was a USELESS cameraman. I wanted him to film me become an airborne trooper but after Justin 'Airborne'-ed me, also stretching my back in the process, Joel STILL did not know how to operate a Sony Ericcson video recording. Sigh...The gan tortured some worms. they poked the nest, killed two mating, and disintergrated a larvae. Then a miracle happened. After a while, the worms came back to life! Except for the disintegrated larvae, of course.
Then we left. In the bus, being us, we did the lamest thing we ever did on a bus. We sing-shouted Green Day songs. Damn lame. Then reached school. Then, done, I guess.
logged in at 9:23 PM
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tagged
Just felt like doing this.
Three things that scare me: Words such as "I hate you" coming from her My sanity Creepy stuff
Three most absurd things that my friends accused of me: Being nice (YEAH RIGHT!) Being crazy for loving her (You're the crazy one) Being smart (My ass!)
Three people who make me laugh: Me Rashid Khairul
Three people I can't live without: Her Her Her
Three things/people I hate: Me Myself I
Three people I love: Her Her Her
Three things I don't understand: Why I am so fucking unlucky Why my hair canot be styled Why did she even accept a loser like me
Three things on my desk: Books MP3 Player Paper
Three things I'm doing right now: Feeling sad Feeling depressed Feeling useless
Three things I wanna do before I die: Love her Love her Love her to the fullest
Three things I can do: Love her Hate me Like Linkin Park
Three things I can't do: Hate her Love me Dislike Linkin Park
Three things I think you should listen to: Linkin Park Fort Minor Master Chief (He can really kick your ass)
Three things I don't think you should listen to ever: Teachers Teachers Teachers
Three things I say the most: FUCK! Oh SHIT!!! DAMN!
Three of my absolute favourite foods: Instant noodles Beef steak Cheese
Three shows I watched when I was a kid: Johnny Bravo Dexter's Laboratory Pimp My Ride (...AS IF!)
These unlucky fools have been tagged:
Justin, Syaz1, Jamie, Cheryl, Joan, Wen Xin
logged in at 1:00 PM
Confirmed
Okay, fine. NOW I know how rock bottom feels like.
The saddest place.
And I hate it.
It was confirmed. We broke up. Happy, all you saddistic asses?! Now I'm left in a pitiful state. And I'm going to go mad.
Being mad shouldn't be all THAT bad. I mean, you would feel numbed to heartbreaks. You won't feel the pain. Cool.
I'm on the line separating sanity from insanity. I really don't know what to do now. Maye I just ought to be left alone. Yeah, I think that'll work.
I need a vacation from school, siblings, and myself. And if she is reading this post, I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry I couldn't be what she wanted me to be. I'm sorry that she had to see me in this state. And I'm sorry for dragging her into this mess.
It's my fault, and mine alone. Not anyone else's. Okay, maybe some other assholes are at fault but...
I don't deserve anything anymore. Everything I have, I take advantage of it. I abuse everything I have. EVERYTHING. And now I feel like dying.
I was blinded by lies. And I would rather stay that way.
The truth is too horrible.
Just too horrible to face.
I don't even deserve death. I don't deserve to be happy...At all. Life is just a pack of lies. Lies and nothing more. Nothing.
To lose the person you truly love the most...It really hurts. A lot. I just...don't have the will to live anymore...
This...might be my final and last post.
Goodbye cruel world.
logged in at 11:05 PM
Melodies of Life
Alone, for a while I've been searching through the dark For pieces of the love you left, Inside my lonely heart To weave By picking up the pieces That remain -Melodies of Life- Love's lost refrain
Our paths they did cross Though I cannot say just why We met, we laughed, we held on fast And then we said goodbye And who'll hear the echoes of the stories Never told Let them ring out loud Till they unfold
In my dearest memories I see you reaching out to me Though you're gone I still believe that you can Call out my name
A voice from the past Joining yours and mine Adding up the layers of harmony And so it goes on and on Melodies of life To the sky beyond the Flying birds Forever and beyond
So far and away See the bird as it flies by Gliding through the shadows Of the clouds up in the sky I've laid my memories and dreams Upon those wings Leave them now and see What tomorrow brings
In your dearest memories Do you remember loving me? Was it fate That brought us close and now Leave me behind
A voice from the past Joining yours and mine Adding up the layers of harmony And so it goes on and on Melodies of life To the sky beyond the Flying birds Forever and beyond
If I should leave This lonely world behind Your voice will still remember Our melody Now I know we'll carry on -Melodies of Life- Come circle round and grow deep In our hearts As long as we remember...
That song is dedicated by me to her...
Out.
logged in at 10:29 PM
NOTICE
I have deleted some pretty nasty things I wrote about teachers and MOE due to the fact that I may land in seriously deep shit if some fucked-up bigmouth complains.
logged in at 10:15 PM
Hedge
Over The Hedge. Just watched it.
One word:
LAME!
Haha. Which is precisely why I like it. It was just plain, fucking hilarious. I think I'm going to watch it with the gang again sometime.
logged in at 10:07 PM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Know What?
I am really impressed by my skin. It's so...cool, considering the fact that it was made using Paint. Yes, I DO NOT have Adobe Photoshop.
And that should be a good thing for you because if I DID have Photoshop...Just see my skin. It was made in PAINT. If I had Photoshop, I'll be the Lord of Picture-Making/Editing.
I am so arrogant. Don't you agree?
Of course you do. Anyway, I am totally bored. And I do not want to go to school. It just plain SUCKS. Except for the fact that she's in school. And she's the main reason I actually go to school.
I am in no mood to crap around right now. Just too emotionally unstable. Either I'm really angry or I'm really sad. If I'm feeling neither, I'm either feeling hungry or sleepy.
For some strange reason I can't seem to get way from my blog.
Just now went for IMT training. The place was pretty cool. And my elbows are -ouch- painful. I really should have bought elbowpads. Or at least use a bra(?!). Failed my IMT. Then went back to school. It is a Thursday with no teachers to supervise us. At all. And no students either. All guys. So I did the obvious (which DOES NOT involve any gay orgies). I went into the Ladies' Room. I'm not some kind of pervert or anything. Just plain cuious. Took some videos there. You would probably laugh your freaking head off if you see it. I'll try put it up in my blog, so don't worry. Haha. Then went home. I realised that TKPS has quite a lot of blondes.
Sigh...I'm so emotionally unstable. Mood swing prone.
I feel like killing someone.
Or buying an XBox 360.
Guns are very heavy, by the way.
logged in at 10:31 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Break
Seriously, I've been really
really
really
REALLY
REALLY
pissed off these past few days.
Seriously. Maybe this is one of the many reasons for my liking to Linkin Park songs. Like what I'm feeling right now, It's exactly like the chorus in "One Step Closer".
Eveything you say to me Takes me one step closer to the edge And I'm about to break
And I AM about to break. Maybe I'm just emotionally unstable. Ah heck. Seriously, I'm about to go beserk anytime now. And I absolutely HATE lectures. From parents, teachers, whoever. They either force me to do something or they try to act like they understand.
Fuck that.
Nobody understands me. And I am HAPPY that nobody does. If they do, they'd probably have combusted themselves. I like to do things MY WAY. Not yours, not the Standard Operation Procedure way, not the "best" way, not the way that always works. MY WAY. Get it?! You can force me to study or do whatever. I'll do it MY WAY. If you lock me up in a room for eternity with Thomas Edison, Issac Newton, or whoever. If I don't want to do anything, I won't.
Stubborn, I know, but do I look like I give a shit? NO.
We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, bitches.
You can just lay off and let me be. You'll be happy, I'll be on top of the world, and if I do badly, I can't blame you.
Or we can do this the hard way. You waste your time, you get frustrated, I will lose all trust in you, and if I screw up, you're the cause.
Just for the record, I HATE THE NEW FUCKING SEAT ARRANGEMENT!
logged in at 5:41 PM
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
POST
This post is of no significance
logged in at 9:50 PM
Just Like That
Just thought of how the Fort Minor song "Right Now" actually means something.
Especially the part which goes: Tomorrow I'm gone, I don't know when I'll be back but in this world everything can change just like that
It really has meaning. Like three years ago, if I'm not wrong, got a phonecall from JB saying that my grand father had died. The day started out really normal.
And I feel rather guilty.
My family didn't get to see him alive for the last time because of me. He didn't get to see my newborn brother.
It's my fault because my parents said that I didn't deserve to go to JB with my cousin. Don't really remember what I did, though. And that caused all of us to stay back in Singapore.
...In this world everything can change just like that...
I'm alive this day and I could easily be gone the next. Goes the same for everyone and everything, though.
Just like that...
logged in at 7:04 PM
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Skin
If you all are reading this post, I think you would have noticed slight changes in the appearance of my blog.
Wait...SLIGHT?!
If you have been visiting this blog since its birth, you would know that the skin has stayed EXACTLY the same until this night. Luckily I didn't go to my sister's Dikir Barat thing.
As you can see from the skin, I'm a fan of Holly Brook. You know, the person singing the part: Where'd you go I miss you so Seems like it's been forever That you've been gone Please come back home
Her first album is going to b released soon, I hope. And how do I know about this wonderful phenomenon? One acronym: LPU.
Too bad I'm not going to tell you her website.
Back to the skin. I made all this in less than one night. And the picture was taken from her website and I modified it using PAINT!!! See how nice I can make a picture be using only Paint. Seriously, I'm good. And arrogant.
Ciao.
logged in at 11:25 PM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Dear Readers
This post is dedicated to all my dear readers.
Hey, readers! Sorry for the lack of update. Been too busy doing nothing fruitful. Miss me? Of course you do. These past few weeks/months, I have evolved from horny and crappy bastard to... Not - so - horny - but - really - really - really - really - really - crappy - and - mood - swing - prone - and - rather - arrogant - idiot. And I like it. Bored... Back to my readers. Or should I say fans? For those loyal fans who did not lose faith in me and came back again and again to check for updates, thank you. One reason that I haven't posted much is because my tag board is well, as you can see right there...completely...empty. No motivation from my fans... Totally forgot what had happened during the last few days...Anyone can tell me? Seriously, I forgot. KFC Hot Wings totally ROCKS!!! 13 pieces eaten in the span of a few days. This post isn't really relevant to the readers, is it? I think I'm, having a writer's block. Anyway, thanks for dropping by.
Don't you guys have anything better to do than visit my blog? I mean, you could be out there doing other stuff. And the only thing lamer than my blog(or me) is...What Kai Wei is probably doing right now. Rakioning/Mapling. Lamer.
Goes by the name Az, and he apparently thinks that he makes the world go round. Single, and sometimes enjoying it. He will go out of his way to see people smile, which makes him smile in turn. He's currently into beatboxing and is getting good at it. He aims to live life to the fullest, and enjoy the good and bad times of it. He talks total crap and would probably sell his soul to an alien for a green balloon. He should almost never be taken seriously. He can do things that most people can't (not that they would want to) such as echo-ing, making cricket sounds, dislocate his right shoulder, and a lot more which shouldn't be mentioned because he doesn't want you to lose your appetite. He claims that he is so hot that when he wears your jacket, it'll burn. He's original and loves making new friends. Basically, he rocks.
