Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Yeah, whatever

All of you people, just simply love to assume and jump to conclusions about who I am.

When I tell my parents that my siblings need disciplining (which they seriously do), they just brush off the behaviour of freaking siblings as a phase. "When you were young, you were like that." "It's normal for people their age." "Can you blame them?"

And then, when they cry out of absolutely no reason (seriously. they go to their room and start whining), I scold them (softly, so my parents wont hear). Then she goes and whine some more. Mother comes up to the room, scolds them, goes out, and scold me. "This is what you wanted, right?" "Satisfied?" Why the hell are you scolding me when you scold them? That makes less sense than this: "AJFNROBEBQPIEWITGHWEOFIWNVIUTBTOBN" So now my parents probably think I'm a sadistic asshole who just wants his siblings to be scolded.

Oh, and for the record, I was delighted when my siblings got punished. My heart says, "Finally, some disciplining going on!!!"

And now, you'd probably be thinking that I'm some kinda mad babboon who in fact does enjoy the suffering of my siblings. Well, that's just too bad.

And then now, due to what I was in the past (a guy who makes everything sound sick and perverse), I say the littlest thing might mean that I'm making a sick joke.

There're are a lot more examples of people assuming who I am, so...

Yeah, whatever.

logged in at 10:40 PM

Heartbreak lullaby...

In the still of the night
I can almost feel you lying next to me
Like it used to be

And it's hard to let go
When there's always something there reminding me
How things could be

I've tried to get you off my mind
I've tried to play my part
But every time I close my eyes
You're still inside my heart

Why can't I laugh
Why must I cry
Everytime we say goodbye
Why does it rain
Here in my heart
Every day that we're apart
Why can't it be
Just you and me
What will it take to make you see
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby

Like the stars in the sky
You still keep on shining down your light on me
But out of reach

And I know* that in time
You will come back to your senses, see the signs
And change your mind

I try to look the other way
And keep my heart on hold
But every time I'm close to you
I lose my self control

Why can't I laugh
Why must I cry
Everytime we say goodbye
Why does it rain
Here in my heart
Every day that we're apart
Why can't it be
Just you and me
What will it take to make you see
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby

Why can't I laugh
Why must I cry
Give me just one good reason why
Why must it rain
Here in my heart
Everyday that we're apart
Why can't it be
Just you and me
What would it take to make you see
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby

Why can't I laugh
Why must I cry
Everytime we say goodbye
Why does it rain
Here in my heart
Every day that we're apart
Why can't it be
Just you and me
What will it take to make you see
These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby

These are the words
To my heartbreak lullaby
Heartbreak Lullaby - A*Teens

* - hope

logged in at 8:07 PM

Monday, August 28, 2006

Why bother?

I don't know why (well, maybe I do), but I don't see any point in doing anything. I mean, I don't really have nothing to work towards to. I used to have someone, but now, well, she's gone so...

I think I'd just rot.

Yes, I think that's what I should do.

logged in at 10:32 PM

Sunday, August 27, 2006

My life

Okay, here's to tell all you people how I live.

I live by my own rules. Not yours. Not the government's. I'm doing this because it's what I think(not you) is the right thing to do. Government's rules have absolutely no morals. As long as you've got the cash, you win. That's another reason why I simply refuse to be a slave to the system.

I care about people. If people are down, I would do anything I can to cheer him/her up. Also, I'd always be willing to entertain people at my own expanse.

I care about people, but I don't always care about what they say. They say/do good things, I thank them. They say/do bad things, I tell them not to. They scold me for doing that, I don't care. Spammers, I don't give a shit about them.

People try to tell me what's 'right'. Study, then get a good job, then be successful, then be 'truly' happy. Well, sorry to disappoint you but, I think I would be more satisfied knowing that I've done what I think is right, not you.

This 'real world' everyone is talking about. I don't believe in it. Ditch your friends, for a higher post in your job. And then you'd say that they should be happy for you when they're not. Well, this is yet another reason why I will never work for The System.

But if I don't work for The System, then what would become of me? Well, I would not know, which would be what adds on thrill to my life. Hey, maybe a simple life of farming or fishing would be what I would enjoy the most.

So, my point here is, it's my life, not yours. Thanks for your concern, but I'd just not be satisfied living an un-unique life. So, well, I hope that sums it up on how I live life.

logged in at 12:35 PM

Saturday, August 26, 2006

always

This Romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up.

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up.

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby that's just me.

And I will love you baby always
And I'll be there forever and a day always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
And I know when I die you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you always.

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
Some that made us cry
One that made you have to say good bye.

What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes I'm just a man.

When he holds you close
When he pulls you near
When he says the words
You've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him, that his words were mine
To say to you till the end of time.

That I will love you baby always
And I'll be there forever and a day always
If you told me to cry for you I could
If you told me to die for you I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you.

Well there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams and our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines.

And I will love you baby always
And I'll be there forever and a day always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
And I know when I die you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you always.
Always - Bon Jovi

That kinda sums it up on how I feel right now.

logged in at 11:41 PM

Thursday, August 24, 2006

FUCK OFF

WHY THE BLOODY FUCKING HELL IS MY LIFE AS SCREWED UP AS THIS, DAMN IT??!!

I TOTALLY SUCK IN MY BLEEDING STUDIES!!!

I CAN'T STAND THE BLEEDING SYSTEM!!!

I HAVE TO TOLERATE SIX, SIIXX BLOODY SPOILT ROTTEN BRATS!!!

I'M ALWAYS ALWAYS IN THE WRONG!!!

I LIVE IN A GODDAMN SHITHOLE WITH A BUNCH OF FAGGOT SUCK-UPS AND SPOILERS!!!

I AM TOTALLY RUINED FROM THE BREAK UP!!!

MY LOVE LIFE COMPLETELY SUCKS TO THE CORE!!!

I CAN'T BLOODY FUCKING FLAME PEOPLE!!!

TEACHERS HATE ME!!!

I WANT TO KILL EVERY BLEEDING ONE OF YOU FAGGOT BASTARDS!!!

I'M EMOTIONAL, WHICH DOES NOT HELP ME IN MY STUDIES AND LIFE!!!

I'M SO DAMN SICK OF THE LOWLIFE SHITHEADS LIVING AROUND ME!!!

I'M STILL FUCKING SANE!!!

I LOST TO SOME BLEEDING MAPLER!!!

WHY THE BLEEDING HELL MUST MY LIFE BE THIS BLEEDING SCREWED UP??!! I KNOW I DID WRONGS BUT WHAT DID I EVER DO, WHAT, THAT MADE ME DESERVE TO BE LIVING IN THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A LIFE??!!

I AM SERIOUSLY PISSED RIGHT NOW.

I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!

logged in at 8:29 PM

which one?

Personality or career skills?

For me, the former would sure as hell be my choice. What's the point of having good grades, success, money, a good job, and so on if you're a total ass?

These things called career skills can help you in your job in the future. Yes, I would also be glad if I could have them but personally, I think that the price is unreasonable.

You get stressed now, and in the future, you got these career skills or high academic levels which will help you get a job that will get you big money. Then, to earn the money, you'll be working all day, all week, all year, and then all your life.

Then when you're about to die, you'd be all rich, but you'll start thinking, Where did all the time go?. You'd be wasting your whole life in your career.

Whereas, if you Live the Moment, as the Seishii would put it, you'd be a hell lot happier. Sure, you might not be able to afford a bungalow, a few cars, and whatnot. But you'd be a lot happier. When you get into trouble, you'd think of it as an enjoyable experience.

Then, when you're about to die, you'd think to yourself, There have been hard times but hey, at least I lived life to the fullest.

I'd rather fail in everything I do and go through life with my head held up high than spending the whole of my life slogging my body, thinking that at the end of it all there would be a lot of happiness.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. The end isn't important. The process is.

So, I'd spend the rest of my days enjoying every moment.

Live the moment
-the Seishii

logged in at 6:28 PM

Reading

Personally, I think reading is one of the things that I do best. I just enjoy reading. It's kinda hard to explain but books are really great! Seriously. I don't read only books but also ingredients on snack wrappers(though I probably won't understand a thing) and especially, the words on people's t-shirts. Once, I saw this guy wearing a shirt that says: Blink if you're horny.

It can be really fun, exciting, interesting to read. Some awesome books that have boosted my love of reading even higher(if that's even possible) are Shade's Children by Garth Nix, Sabriel(and Lirael and Abhorsen) by Garth Nix, The Hitchhikers' Guide trilogy(although there are five books) by Douglas Adams, The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, Falling Sideways by Tom Holt adn, well, many more.

Am I sounding like some kinda nerd or something? Haha. Maybe I am. But one things for sure: I'm a Read(not books only)worm.

Reading, as expected, gives you knowledge(well, sometimes).

But one thing I'm sure everyone is right now has read a LOT. perhaps thousands of sms-es. Haha. So you're probably a Readworm, too.

By the way, I'm NOT a nerd. That's Suresh(though he's a dumb nerd).

logged in at 4:15 PM

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Peace

Why fight?

Why can't guns and killing only be in games?

Why can't there be peace in this world?

I don't see why the hell it's so damn difficult to make world peace. Why all the bleeding politics? Why poverty? Can't we just all ask for peace? Why not all of us just pitch in wholeheartedly and I'm sure that it'll help a lot, not to mention making us feel more satisfied with ourselves.

Yes, I'm kind of a hippy right now. But I seriously believe peace can be achieved without shedding any blood. War doesn't make us see who is right, it just makes a whole lot of people die. Nothing more.

The Middle East war. I don't know what is actually going on there but why not just make peace? Why not both or all parties meet up, and discuss. Bombing and killing doesn't solve anything.

Every little part will help. Every effort from everyone is needed. So I don't know about the rest of the world but

I'm ready to do my part for peace.

Peace out.

logged in at 8:47 PM

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Twenty-2nd August

Okay, okay, I know. This post is well, late by sixteen hours and twenty-one minutes. Well, I was born at 4.02am on the 22nd of August 1992. Okay.

So, another year has yet to pass. And now I'm one year closer to my death(yes, I'm pretty pessimistic). I've lived for fourteen years, the last two-and-a-half-months being voluntary.

Anyway, if you haven't notice(which you should have), this blog is well, repoened. I'll get this blog a new skin and well, update some more.

Oh, and if you're wondering, I've spent the last twenty-one days or so blogging at www.dotblogspot-.blogspot.com

P.S - This coincidentally happened to be post no. 100.
P.S.S - I've been living fourteen years without getting a single birthday present from friend(s). (birthday bash not included here)

So well, happy birthday to me. :D