Monday, July 31, 2006
Closed
This blog is closed. That's all I have to say.logged in at 11:18 PM
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Death
I'm kinda looking forward to it right now.logged in at 2:51 PM
Here
I'm here without you, babyBut you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you, baby
And I dream about you all the time
logged in at 1:03 PM
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Trust
When I say 'trust', most people's reactions would as the following:"Trust? What's that? Sounds pretty."
Apparently, there's not much trust left in this world. People backstabbing others, betrayal, and whatnot.
I used to trust everyone, but now, It's kinda sad that I can't. I mean, I used to believe anything that anyone says. I TRUSTED them. And what do I get in return?
Betrayal, deceit, a broken heart.
Learn this: Make people EARN your trust. Don't be like me and give it to any Tom, Dick or Harry that passes by.
Fuck.
logged in at 9:05 PM
My beloved...
...pillow!I love my pillow. I'm so jealous of it. Every time I cry, I cry on my pillow's 'shoulders'. It also gets to sleep with me almost every night. And by the way, that's a GREAT PRIVELAGE.
I love you, pillow. You're always there for my tears (and occasionally drool). You make my sleep comfortable.
To my pillow:
Meet you again tonight!
logged in at 3:13 PM
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Crashed
One day I will be singing this song(sort of, anyway):I'm so rushed off my feet
Looking for Gordon Street
So much I need to say
I'm sorry that it's on her wedding day
Cos she's so right for me
Her daddy disagrees
He's always hated me
Because I never got a J-O-B
Cos she's mine
And I'm glad I crashed the wedding
It's better than regretting
I could have been a loser kid
Who ran away and hid
But it's the best thing that I ever did
True love lasts forever
And now we're back together
Its as if he never met her
So looking back
I'm glad I crashed the wedding
The neighbours spread the word
And my mom cried when she heard
I'd stole my girl away
From everybody gathered there that day
Just in time
And I'm glad I crashed the wedding
It's better than regretting
I could have been a loser kid
Who ran away and hid
I said I'd do it and I did
True love lasts forever
And now we're back together
Its as if he never met her
So looking back
I'm glad I crashed the wedding
Don't wish she's being
Mad at me for taking her away
Cos anyway she didn't wanna stay
So please believe me when I say
She's glad I crashed the wedding
It's better than regretting
The ring she got was lame
She couldn't take the pain
She didn't wanna silly second name
True love lasts forever
And now we're back together
He might aswell forget her
And walk away
She's glad I crashed the wedding
It's better than regretting
The ring she got was lame
She couldn't take the pain
She didn't wanna silly second name
True love lasts forever
And now we're back together
He might aswell forget her
And walk away
She's glad I crashed the wedding
Yep. One day.
logged in at 7:39 PM
Memories
Memories consume,Like opening the wound
Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park
logged in at 5:20 PM
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Past
Just now I was lost in the past.I spent, maybe around one hour, losing myself in it, slowly tracing back till today.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm saying that I spent around one hour looking through her archives, seeing if I did anything wrong.
As I read the post from April 2006, slowly going forward in time, day by day, post by post, my eyes teared out of happiness. At least we were together. And I noticed and remembered some events that took place during those two blissful months.
Then as I slowly went forward, I started noticing how troubled she was. By me, or by anyone else. Then, my eyes felt wet again, this time by sadness.
And now I notice how fragile a relationship is, and how easily I took it. Which was a huge mistake.
I thought that I could take things slow, and that the world would wait for me. Obviously, I was wrong.
I didn't know how much I had hurt her, and it hurt more when I found out that she did not want to hurt me by telling her that I was hurting her.
And now I'm hurt. Seriously hurt. Saying stuff like "Just forget her/him" is easier said than done. Like blogposts, memories can't just be erased like that.
They just...can't.
logged in at 5:13 PM
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Seven
Seven Random Facts About Me:-162cm
-45kg
-Long finger width
-Hates Maths
-Hates Physics
-Hates History
-Hated self
Seven Things That Scare Me:
-God
-Afterlife
-Horror movies
-Rejection
-Breakups
-Near-to-death boredom
-Not being able to state enough fears for some lame tag
Seven Random Music At The Moment:
-Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park
-From the Inside - Linkin Park
-Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park
-Faint - Linkin Park
-Crawling - Linkin Park
-Forgotten - Linkin Park
-In the End - Linkin Park
Seven Things I Like The Most:
-My LPU T-shirt
-My Manteca 2 DC shoes
-My room
-My blog
-Training
-Kayaking
-Not stating seven of the things I like the most
Seven Things I Say The Most:
-Oh SHIT!
-Yo.
-Oh dang.
-Erm...
-Yea
-Damndamndamndamndamndamn
-Oh dear
Seven People To Do This
-Nobody
-No one
-Not a single soul
-Not anyone on my links
-Not anyone in my mind
-Not anyone in my class
-Basically, not anyone
logged in at 6:47 PM
Racists
Another bunch of fags are racists, and people afected by them. I once got an email that said this guy was racist and we "low-class" Asians should not buy his clothing. Yeah, that was pretty racist but the email also said that since we're "low-class", we should not buy his clothes and put him into a financial crisis.I straightaway deleted that email.
Why? Because, yeah, I agree that the guy is racist but that doesn't mean we have to get disturbed by it.
And when some students make racist comments on some guy, and the guy complains to a teacher, the teacher gets mad. But if you look from my perspective, you'll see that the teacher is also racist because he or she sides with the minority.
People, please. There's this guy who always, and I mean ALWAYS, makes racist comments on Malays(which I am part of) but do you see me giving a damn?
Racists' aims are to make another race pissed off. So after they make their comments, and the other race gets pissed and gets the first guy into trouble, they're just falling into his fucking trap. His aim is to get you pissed and here you are, pissed.
Don't get the wrong idea. I am not siding racists. I just feel that sometimes when people get affected by racism, they get a hell lot more annoying than the racists and it really just drives me nuts. There'll always be racists and idiots who will annoy you and get you angry. What drives them, I have no idea but I sure as hell won't want to bother finding out and stopping them. It'll just get me tired and I can get the same outcome by ignoring them.
Why stress yourself out with them?
Message to racists:
I don't care what you bloody fucking say.
logged in at 5:49 PM
Monday, July 24, 2006
Happy
She liked it so, well, I'm really happy. :Dlogged in at 7:27 PM
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Nice
So far today totally ROCKED!Woke up at six and left for school at 6.20am. Reached TKPS at 6.50am and waited to go to RHD thingy at Innova JC.
We were slightly late but made it in time to actually see and hear beatboxing LIVE!!! Then was some nice ice-breaking games. Lemme try and recall...
Farah, Ze Kai, Max, Adeline(student leader), Alex, Kevin, Hanisah, Brandon, Suresh, Rasyiqah, Yong Yi, Sho Na(student leader), Stephanie, Kelly, Wynne, Aneza, Azri(me), Darn, I forgot the last name...
Those who in E5SA whose name I spelled wrongly or didn't mention, please feel free to give me a good beating.
Then three of us had to go to various stall thingies and I met my neighbour! Cool. Then erm...We made a kite. Then there was a break, where I only had one chocolate ice cream cup (and I wanted orange...). Then was the Prize giving thingy with some little performances. While waiting for it to start, I passed down my phone and asked my fellow E5SA-ians to fill in their contacts.
Then it was in the bus. Well, nothing much here.
Took bus 10 to Tampines Mall and got a little something for someone, which drained me of my money until I was left with 10 cents. I couldn't take bus and I did NOT want to wait such a long queue to get a bloody taxi. So I did the most sensible thing to do.
Walk.
Haha. Walked five bloody kilometers, or around there. I must've looked pretty weird...walking and crossing roads while reading a book. Haha. Weird.
Then I reached home and now I have my beloved internet.
You'll see...
on Monday
logged in at 3:58 PM
Friday, July 21, 2006
High Road
I'm so sick and tired of being depressed and not being able to help it. That's why now I'm going to face the fucking fact and do something about it. I am NOT going to give in to depression and I sure as hell am NOT going to give up.Neither am I going to move on.
I have an ambition and I'm going to work towards it. And any lowlife bugger who stands in my way is going down. All the fucking people who don't believe in me can just fuck off, I couldn't care less about your miserable attempts to bring me down. Racists who want to say anything about my skin colour or my race, say it. I won't be bothered by such fools.
You can say what you want about me, keep talking while I'm walking away.
The world is full of idiots. People give in to them. Well, not me anymore. I'm not going to be some jerk who lets little trifles bother me.
So if any of you want to say anything, say it. My only reply will be:
Fuck off.
logged in at 6:59 PM
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Priorities
Okay. I seriously need to get my priorities right.But, the fact that I'm blogging instead of doing some of my tonnes of homework shows that I can't do the above task.
Darn.
So here is what I hope I will do today:
Vocabulary
Study for History test
Finish up Geography project
Off to doing work (I hope)!
logged in at 5:08 PM
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Wasn't that fun?
Like the skin?Haha. Of course you do. Half emo/Half fun. Not to mention the words have meaning. see, nowadays people are so bloody depressed and emo.
The words that say "Wasn't that fun?" meant "Wasn't feeling emo fun?" And "Let's try something else." meant "Let's try not feeling so emo."
So in other words, SOME emo and SOME fun means a really great person, namely me (bloody thickskinned). Haha.
The words are actually from Cure For The Itch by Linkin Park.
So, yeah. That's about it.
logged in at 11:58 PM
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Pirates
Just came back from watching POC 2: Dead Man's Chest.Amazing movie if you ask me. I'll give it, say, five million stars. I'm not going to be a spoiler so I'll just say this:
Watch it.
logged in at 10:57 PM
The System
Damn it.Look at us teens. Depressed, stressed, suicidal. What happened to all the good 'ol carefree days of our childhood when we would go to school happily to see friends, or cry because we had to go to school. When we would go to our best friend's house every weekend and watch cool videos of Power Rangers, Ultraman, or maybe even Barney?
What happened?
The System. The Bloody Fucking System. Another way to put this is School.
The System has deprived us of our freedom. Ask your parents if they had enjoyed their Kampong days. Or even your grandparents.
Really, The System is bugging me out. It's always "For our own good", but since when did we ever say that we wanted the big guys in the big chairs that we wanted them to decide what's good for us?
A few more years and we'll all get into The System. Fully. And when that time comes, it's nothing but work, work, work.
This modern world sucks, doesn't it?
logged in at 4:52 PM
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Her
She...-is angelic
-is adorable
-has a great personality
-has stolen my heart
-has beatiful eyes (seriously) :)
-has a great smile
-is perfect
-already has someone else
-is loved by me
-is totally awesome
-never fails to make me smile
-is worth fighting for
All this is true.
I love you
logged in at 4:19 PM
POP
Passing Out Parade camp totally ROCKED!Part D's, you guys are the best. Even when we have pissed you off a LOT, you still bought us pizza on that day.
Now, the Part C's are in charge, which I'm not too disappointed about. And us, the Part B's, are one step closer to becoming in charge. Part A's, you guys gotta buck up (Well, so do the Part B's).
The concert:
Part A's had Gay Idol, which was seriously UN-GAY! Then next was Rashid playing Blvd. Of Broken Dreams. Good, but screwed up a bit on the lyrics. Then it was me with a piano solo. I was the only one wearing a shirt, so I looked pretty wierd. Then it was our Sgt. Justyn, with a rocking guitar performance. Daniel, with another piano solo, was next. Then was Khairul with...Here Without You. FREAKING NICE!!! Then it was You And Me and To Zanarkand played by...the quartermaster! It was then the results show for the Gay Idol, and (okay, this was planned) Justin and Elyasa went and did a gay dance and Sgt. Kai Liang and Sgt. Kelvin joined in. Hilraious.
Part A's, you can NEVER beat the Part B's in being crappy/gay. We're too good in that field.
Next day...
PT, with three sets of 20/25 and FOUR sets of FIFTY! Arms/legs/neck/back ached seriously. But at the end of it all, it felt really, fucking good.
Then we had to go home.
Until then,
I'm here without you
logged in at 2:23 PM
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Methods
Now that I think about it, there are A LOT of ways in which I could use to kill myself.One - Cliche. Jump down a building
Two - Stab myself
Three - Cut myself till I bleed to death
Fourth - Go to Chemistry lab and drink chemicals
Fifth - Starve myself
Sixth - Block my windpipe with cement
Seventh - Chuck my throat with dirt
Eighth - Electrocute myself
Ninth - Drown myself
Tenth - Get cancer
Eleventh - Swallow rusty barbwire
Which one should I choose? hmm...
logged in at 9:50 PM
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
depressed
I...am...depressed.At this point of time I really feel like dying. I mean, there's not much for me to live for anyway. I suck in studies, athletics and whatnot.
Might as well just die, don't you agree?
I once had someone I wanted to live for. Well, that someone is now gone and so I'm left with absolutely nothing to live for.
I need a hug...
logged in at 9:25 PM
Tae Kwon Do
I heard that the TKD standard has risen. I think I'm gonna recontinue from brownblack belt.Thing is, I need someone to reteach me the previous belt patterns first. Any volunteers?
logged in at 1:02 PM
...
I am not in school because of several things in my life that has screwed me up.Firstly, when I woke up today, I had a very painful backache. Hopefully, it will still give me an MC because of TK's fucked-up rules.
Secondly, last night(not only last night, mind you) I had several huge and very painful heartache.
Thirdly, there's Physics today.
Fourthly, I need some time for myself to think of what I want to do with my life(and yes, I have). I want to simply end it. Or just leave a huge marking as a reminder for a certain something.
Fifthly, I don't like school.
Lastly, I don't like homework either.
Till then,
Life sucks, ya?
logged in at 12:26 PM
The Management
This post is dedicated to The Management(me).The reason you guys have ben reading awesome posts, looking at an awesome skin, etc. is all thanks to The Management(me). The Management(me) has been keeping up this blog for a pretty long time.
The Management(me) apologizes for the current lack of posts. The reason to this lack of posts is The Management(me)'s lack of interest in life. Every little thing that goes by just makes The Management(me) go, "Okay".
Also, The Management(me) is currently suffering from another Great Depression.
The Management(me) deserves some rest, don't you agree? The better The Management(me) is rested, the more updates, skin updates, etc. The Management(me) can manage.
So donate to The Management(me) in the Get-The-Management-(me)-enough-money-for-an-Xbox-360.
-The Management(me)
logged in at 12:15 PM
Friday, July 07, 2006
back!
I'm back. And bored.Is anyone free next week? Anyone want to come join me in watching Pirates 2?
That is, IF I have the money to buy my own tickets.
And to all NPCC Cadets out there: Hope y'all enjoy(ed) your ATC!!! Sometimes I regret quitting NP. Like when they had nightwalk. Or when they are gone for ATC.
Ah well, that's too bad, I guess.
I'm gonna miss Part B's PS-es.
logged in at 10:34 PM
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Chibi
This is what Cynthia drew:
And I got inspired by it. So I, being me, drew this:
Well, that's about it, then.
logged in at 9:50 PM
Monday, July 03, 2006
Movies
Here are my comments on some movies/movie trailers:Over The Hedge [Movie]
Fun, but it has the oh-so-common moral-of-the-story thing.
The Da Vinci Code [Movie]
HOW CAN THEY CHANGE SO MUCH OF THE STORY, DAMN IT!!!
Superman Returns [Movie]
Actually good. And definitely better than Spiderman.
Dead or Alive [Movie Trailer]
They make DoA look like Charlie's Angels. AND, most of the girls are WESTERN!!! Which is a bad thing.
Spiderman 3 [Movie Trailer]
I'm not sure if it is a fan-made trailer or anything, but FINALLY Venom comes out.
logged in at 2:35 PM
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Studies
At heart, I actually LOVE studying. Seriously. And I think that some of you guys may agree with me. But a few things make me hate studying.EXAMS
Because of this bloody fucking shit called exams, I've lost the motivation to study. I mean, who wants to study if they're forced to? Sure as hell not me. When I study, I do it on MY time. And I'd do it because I want to. But because parents and teachers (well, most anyway) FORCE me to study, the love of it is lost. Seriously, exams really don't mean a shit. Do you guys actually think that a piece of paper judges how smart, determined, diligent you are? Not me.
PARENTS
ALL of you guys should understand this one perfectly. Parents FORCE children to study. Again, the word "Force" appears. Parents want us to get good grades, therefore they want us to study. Hello??? Grades? Grades are numbers which end with %. And parents think that these shitty numbers are the most important things in our lives. And again, because they force us to get high grades, we hate it and purposely don't want to study. Just to spit our parents.
TEACHERS
Don't need to say much here now, do I?
Personally, I absolutely HATE exams. Believe it or not, I actually like maths and science. Really, I do. But again, because of all these things which are meant to be good for me, I lost my motivation to study.
This, I think, is a whiney post but it is needed. Just in case some parent or examiner or someone reads it and it opens their eyes. Parents, would it HURT if you just TRY to let go?
logged in at 5:19 PM
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Well...
I'm sick again. And I self-diagnosed myself as:STILL heartbroken
If you're reading this,...
Sorry for always talking to you about it. I'm just really confused. Sorry...
Just tried to help someone who was heartbroken, and...It seems to me that 98% of all guys are have absolutely no concern about how people feel. What is the world coming to?
Anyway, for those who are heartbroken out there, death isn't a solution. If you have to, just let time heal the wounds.
Till then,
i'll always be waiting for you here...
