Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Past
Just now I was lost in the past.
I spent, maybe around one hour, losing myself in it, slowly tracing back till today.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm saying that I spent around one hour looking through her archives, seeing if I did anything wrong.
As I read the post from April 2006, slowly going forward in time, day by day, post by post, my eyes teared out of happiness. At least we were together. And I noticed and remembered some events that took place during those two blissful months.
Then as I slowly went forward, I started noticing how troubled she was. By me, or by anyone else. Then, my eyes felt wet again, this time by sadness.
And now I notice how fragile a relationship is, and how easily I took it. Which was a huge mistake.
I thought that I could take things slow, and that the world would wait for me. Obviously, I was wrong.
I didn't know how much I had hurt her, and it hurt more when I found out that she did not want to hurt me by telling her that I was hurting her.
And now I'm hurt. Seriously hurt. Saying stuff like "Just forget her/him" is easier said than done. Like blogposts, memories can't just be erased like that.
They just...can't.
logged in at 5:13 PM
